Saw two examples of how to network with people, at an event in Málaga a few years ago.
One example was pretty good, and the other one was disastrously bad.
Here’s what happened: Before the networking part of the event, each of attendees got one minute to pitch our business from the stage, and so I was up there as well.
Afterwards, I was approached by a Spanish business owner, dressed to the nines in a flashy Flamenco dress.
Where ‘approached’ is a euphemism for ‘accosted’.
She came up to me, introduced herself, and without a pause launched into an aggressive sales pitch that just wouldn’t end.
How her co-working space is this and that, how there’s seminars, and amenities, and a virtual mentoring programme… on and on. All the features and benefits, from a firehose. I just stood there, hoping it would end, unable to get a word in edgewise.
Not even to say that I had no need for any of it, because at that time, my friend Antonio was running his own co-working place, and I got everything she offered, and more, for free, at his company, each time I was in Málaga.
It was silly to pitch like that, because her approach was nothing short of repellent, and she ensured that I had zero interest in ever talking to her again.
Compare that to the second experience:
Guy comes up and tells me that my mini-pitch really interested him.
And, would I mind if he gave me a little feedback, and a tip on how to improve my presentations?
Look what he did there: he built rapport (in a sincere way, I could tell he wasn’t faking it) and then asked me permission (always good to ask people for permission) to give feedback.
Next he told me something useful, and invited me to stay in touch, effectively selling me on liking him, and on being open to meet with him again.
Obviously, he was hoping to get business out of me at some point, and I don’t mind: every business owner is always looking for clients, or should be.
But the way he did it pulled me closer, whereas the lady drove me away.
And the fact is that no matter how good your service or offer or idea might be, you can’t ever rely on your pitch to pull the other person over the line.
Your pitch might work for this person, but not the other one.
And it’s on you, as the seller, to pay attention to the individual in front of you, and whether or not they’re leaning wanting to learn more, or leaning out and wanting to get out.
Miss Flamenco could have created a great conversation, if only she had registered that I was feeling uncomfortable, and that I was not engaging with her. But she was too busy making it all about herself, and in business, it's never about you.
It’s your job to read your audience, and register whether or not your message is coming across the way you intend it to.
If it’s not, stop the messaging, and start asking questions.
Because the worst thing you could do when your counterpart isn’t leaning in, is start pitching harder, because the only thing that can come from that is that they’ll lean out, and I doubt that that is what you want.