When that happens – when you know that a prospect totally needs your thing but they’re just not signing up to get it – it’s probably because you’re trying to ‘sell’, when really it should be about enabling people to buy.
Because the truth is, things are bought, not sold.
And when you as the seller try to sell, when you try to get our point across, and try to get your buyer to see the sense in going for the purchase, you raise all kinds of objections and defence mechanisms.
Because the moment you tell someone “Do this thing”, they’ll rebel. Nobody likes to be told what to do, it triggers psychological reactance, and no matter how good your offer would be for your buyer, even the slightest hint of coercion or pressure will have them dig in their heels. (Which is why one of the rules of Sales for Nice People is Never convince, never persuade)
Coercion and persuasion are exactly why traditional selling is so icky.
A seller trying with all his might to show the buyer that the seller is right and that the buyer needs to change their views and make a decision, and buy? Yuck.
Even if the seller is right – if he or she correctly surmises that their product or service is right for the buyer – that doesn’t mean they get to tell the other that they are wrong – but that’s exactly the message that the buyer hears.
"No, you’re not getting it. When you buy this, all will be well. You just need to see what I’m trying to show you". It’s obvious how that won’t work, isn’t it?
Like it or not, even if your heart is in the right place, and you truly care, the moment you try to tell someone that your view ought be adopted, you’re making the other person wrong, because you’re right. And that never works.
Hence the saying:
Things are bought, not sold.
Buying is inward, it’s a pull. ‘Selling’ is outward, it’s push.
When people need your offer and they’re not picking it up: stop pushing, and instead invite your buyer into making a decision.
Don’t try to make a compelling argument, but instead try to make it easy to buy.
And the easiest way to do that, is to hand your buyer their autonomy, and leave the decision up to them.