A while ago I was at a conference – something I normally avoid at all cost – and it was… interesting.
For instance, a guy I’ll call Jimmy leapt out of his booth, cast his eyes on my name tag and went: "Hi Martin, how are you doing today!"
He then went on to tell me all about how his company has a team of highly qualified software developers and how they can build any kind of application, and they have AI up the wazoo, and yada yada yada. To his credit he did ask me a few questions, unlike some of the other sales reps I met… but to his detriment, he didn’t listen to the answers, so he didn’t register that I am an independent consultant with a miniscule tech stack and therefore zero need for what they do.
And so he just went on with his pitch, telling me about the things they can do and how great it all was – and none of it was relevant to me.
Now you might think that he did right, because even if I might not have a need, surely there would be people in my world who might need help at some point, right?
Well no. Because if you’re just going to grab me by the lanyard and start pitching at me, do you really think I want that for my peers and my clients? I shudder to think what the rest of the sales process looks like at that company, so no: no introductions, no cigar. Hell no.
Anyway, I then received this doozy of an email from the company:
(Heads up if you’re the Jimmy in this picture: nothing personal buddy. You seemed like a fine individual to me, but you’ve been told wrong. You deserve a better job than this, you know?)
Now normally, seeing sales done badly, I’d consider flipping the script and suggesting some ways they can improve their results.
But seeing how institutionalised this company is in their sales approach, I know it’s no use. They’re just too far gone.
I mean, consider. "Continue the discussion".
No I’d rather not. It wasn’t a discussion to begin with because it was mostly just a stream of words directed at me – and I can stand a lot of pain, but I’m not a masochist.
If you’re going to throw pitches at unsuspecting passersby, the only thing you’ll cause is a feeling of "How do I make this stop?"
You can’t show up and throw up because you’ll make people want to get the hell out of there: words in high dosage are the perfect buyer repellent.
Also, what are those key takeaways you speak of – do you mean the features our friend Jimmy told me about? Yeah those are not takeaways, but nice going on the euphemisms there.
And what about your belief that you can support my IT initiatives, what fantasy land did you get that from? Because as I told Jimmy, I don’t have any IT initiatives that require a dev shop.
Oh and now that we’re talking about Jimmy, what the hell happened to him – is he not allowed to send his own followup emails? Oh wait, you guys have reps for different roles – one for first contact, one for setting appointments, and others for closing the deal. Very Pro. Also: very mechanical and utterly impersonal.
And no, I’m hella not open to a web call, because if your company thinks it’s alright to train a Jimmy to do what he did, and to send me tone-deaf followup that your AI slops together, I will henceforth vehemently refuse to have anything further to do with your sales process.
Here’s how I would have done it, had I been the guy (I hope you’re taking notes, Jimmy. It’ll serve you in your next job):
"Hi Martin, hope you’re enjoying your day here?
It says Sales for Nice People on your name tag. What does that mean? Are you a sales trainer?
Oh so you work with SMB’s who want to do something useful, not just make money. Interesting.
I gotta question, if you don’t mind – Do any of your clients ever need IT projects done well?
Right. Well I’d need some more info before I can make any recommendations, but maybe we can catch up later and talk, and see if there’s any overlap between what your people need and what we do?"
To that, I might have said yes or I might have said no. It’s putting your cards on the table, it seeks to validate an intelligent assumption, it speaks to what my people might need, and it doesn’t try to convince me of anything.
And I’d likely have remembered Jimmy as someone I like and respect, and who made me feel respected. And if later anyone at the conference would have asked for a recommendation for a dev shop, I just might have said "I don’t know them, but Jimmy at Dev Shop seems to have a great team, they’re in Hall 3."
Anyway, I doubt you would send a team of hapless pitch-flingers to a conference – but I’ll be you do want leads and maybe you do go to events, so there’s some intelligent reflection to be done on how to position yourself and communicate in a way that gets you conversations and opportunitites.
I can help with that. It’s a matter of USP and messaging – and creating tight and unmissable messaging that makes people go "Huh, tell me more?", well that’s my happy place.
Whenever you’re ready to talk, just mail me at martin@salesfornicepeople.com.