Yes, you might have just lost a sale, because your buyer changed their mind or because a stakeholder vetoed it.
But does that have to be the end of it?
After all, a sale happens in the context of a conversation, and a conversation happens in the context of a relationship.
A very common mistake when a sale doesn’t happen, is closing the book and moving on, looking for the next candidate.
And yes, you definitely and absolutely need to make sure there’s going to be new deals to work on, but:
You’ve invested time and mental real estate in having the buyer conversations, a relationship has developed, and there’s no law that says that a lost sale means you should forget about the relationship.
In fact, a great many sales happen not when you want it, but at some point in the future, when the stars align or the obstructive stakeholder changes jobs or a round of investment has landed or the founder finally wrapped up her divorce and is now ready to sink her teeth back into that growth initiative that had been put on hold.
And guess who stands to win the sale, 3 or 6 or 18 months later, when things have changed?
The seller who realises that you can lose the deal, but still win the relationship.
The one who keeps the conversation going, by staying in touch with helpful information and the occasional meeting.
But if you hear a no and you go "Well okay then, sorry to hear it. Bye", that’s when you lose both the deal and the relationship as well. And any future deals that might happen.
So when your buyer comes back to you and tells you "Sorry, it’s not going to happen at this point", first ‘make your buyer right’.
"Understood, that is not a problem".
After all, your buyer is right in their own mind, so graciously accept their decision, even if you consider it a mistake.
Then, ask questions to help you understand their motivation and reasoning, and why they are willing to keep paying the cost of keeping the problem:
For instance:
"Just so that I understand, you’ll fare better if you continue on with the problem, rather than having me get rid of it for you?"
Now your buyer will explain their logic, you’ll get intel, and based on what they tell you, you can suggest a way to keep the relationship intact and the conversation going:
"I can see why that makes sense – life would be too easy if we didn’t have to make trade-offs.
What if we pick a time for a meeting 6 months from now, to see if things are still the same?"
Because you’ve applied ethical selling and made your sales process itself an act of service, it’s very likely that your buyer will agree to that meeting, which means your relationship continues and the conversation as well, and that means your lost deal just might revive itself 6 months down the line.
Losing a sale sucks. Don’t make it worse by losing the relationship as well.